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Sir Glenn Paisley

His Holiness, circa 1581/1859/2008

1556-2012


Marquis of Schofield; Knight Protector of the Paisley Vatican; Avatar of Wee Drinky; Knight Companion of the Abbey of the Paislian Shrine



References to Sir Glenn in Paislian Literature:

His Holiness upon his first appearance in the Glen. Excerpt from Chester P. Hackenbush's A Discourse on Metaphysical Creatures Recognized By The Church of Paisley Glen:
"1. Manifestation

Except in the case of Glen Paisley, these creatures will only rarley grace us with their physical presence. On those occassions when they *do* appear, they tend to have rather hilarious misadventures that lead to them being somewhat deified. Glen Paisley, on the other hand, while he is the Spirit of the Glen, is more in the nature of a Folk Hero or Demi-God, and as such is permitted to visit the Glen in body as well as in spirit."

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"In some cases, such as that of the Crack Fairy or Glen Paisley himself, it can overwhelm the physical "real" person, and create a different sort of permanent physical manifestation of the creature. Yes, I know that that sort of contradicts the first rule, but you can shut up, because I'm higher than a kite on arsenic. Land's sake, did I type that? I hope that the editor catches this bit in the proofs. Oh, dear."


Sir Glenn contemplates his tool. Excerpt from Jane Chatterley's The Folklore of Paisley Glen:
"

Glenn Paisley:

Glenn Paisley is said to be "Seven foot tall, with bones of Iron and Skin of Steel. Fire flashes from his eyes, and lightning bolts shoot from his" nether regions*. For some reason, this terrifying figure is considered friendly, and it is lucky to encounter him in the glen. Apparently, he makes his living selling perfume for horses, but it remains unknown whether the horses enjoy his perfume."
*The original tale, being from somewhat Anglo-Saxon times, used a word that I consider indelicate


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Excerpt from The Paisley Glen Song:
His presence can clear out a room.



" Glenn Paisley's a curious fellow -
His presence can clear out a room.
His skin made of steel might explain it,
Or else it's that damned horse perfume.

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A close-up of His Holiness.

Of Sir Glenn Paisley and Horse Perfume




Really, I have no idea. When Glenn Paisley appeared before the Glen, with the steel, and the fire, and the thunderbolts, there was no mention of horse perfume. It wasn't until much later that a band of vagrants wandered into the Glen, asking after Glenn Paisley, who they had heard was a famous horse-perfume merchant. They demanded his wares, and he managed to placate them, producing the perfume from somewhere - it's better not to ask where.

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